Here are some of the things I've heard in the last month since you arrived.
~ "Does the baby keep you from getting your work done during the day?"
~ "You'll be sorry you held her so much when she's spoiled and too big for you to do that."
~ "What do you do all day?"
~ "Have you tried just letting her cry?"
~ "You're not nursing?"
~ "I can't believe you don't have her on a feeding and sleeping schedule."
~ Various sentences that start with, "You should...", "You shouldn't...", "Why haven't you...?", etc.
I won't be so arrogant as to say that I don't want any advice. I've had some good suggestions that have worked really well for us. But, for once in my life, I am not going to give in to the guilt that comes with having a severe case of the "shoulds" and worrying about what everyone else things about what I do.
Here's why.
You, my sweet girl, are my job and my responsibility. Regardless of what else I do or don't do, I am here to keep you safe and taken care of and reasonably happy. When you have days like today when you need to be held and snuggled most of the day, that's what I will do. Gladly. You aren't keeping me from getting my work done. You ARE my work.
I will never be sorry that I held you so much. Every day is a reminder of how quickly time is passing and how soon you will be too old to want to snuggle with your mommy. Every day I look at you to see how much you grew overnight and how much closer you are to being all grown up and setting out on your own in the world. As long as you aren't in pain on those snuggly days, I will rejoice in every minute of them.
The hard part about these conversations is that every one of these people really are trying to help and want what is best for you. What they are forgetting is that I am the luckiest woman in the world because God gave you to me, not them. That means it is my responsibility to protect you, even from all those good intentions.
Especially from all those good intentions.
So, there will be no letting you cry it out; or making you wait to eat, even though you are clearly hungry, because it isn't the scheduled time; or making you take a pacifier instead of sucking your thumb, even though you find that extremely soothing.
There will be naps when you're tired, even if it's not the most convenient time; and lots of snuggles, even when there's laundry and dishes waiting to be washed; and laughs about your daddy letting you run around the house with no pants after every time he changes your diaper; and way too many pictures of you on Face Book because I'm so proud of you that I can't stand to not share them with our friends and family who are too far away to see you as often as they would like.
Sometimes, there will be nights like tonight, when you fall asleep on my lap and I leave you there long after I should have put you in your bed and I won't be one bit sorry.
Because, precious daughter of mine, the most important part of my job as your mom is to make sure you are loved. As long as I have breath in my body, I will do my best to make sure that you know how much you are adored and treasured.
Sleep well, darling princess. We can do the laundry tomorrow.
Love,
Mom
