Dear sweet daughter, there are so many milestones that I meant to record in this blog for you. Over the last few months, we've been doing our best to take care of Pappaw and it has taken a lot of time and energy and I haven't written down as much as I wanted to.
I want you to know that your Pappaw loves you so much. From the very beginning when I told him you were coming, he was determined that he was getting a granddaughter. Even when I told him that I really thought I was having a boy - sorry, kiddo, I missed that call - he kept saying, "Nope, sounds like a Dennison girl to me." When he got sick and went the hospital the first time and we came to see him, he randomly called me over to the side of his bed when no one else was listening just so that he could rub my belly and tell you he loved you. Every night that we were there that visit, he had to rub my belly and tell you goodnight.
I wish so much that I could see him hold you, his precious granddaughter that he couldn't wait to show to everyone. But it doesn't look like that is the plan.
I wish that I could tell you what an amazing person your Pappaw Rick is - and I'm not just saying that because he's my daddy. But there aren't enough words.
I wish that I could make him all better so that he could be here for you to take you shooting and to teach you about how things work and to tell you to put new tires on your car because winter is coming. But I can't do that either.
What I can promise you is this. I will tell you all the stories I can remember about your Pappaw and the life he lived. I will laugh with you and cry with you when I look back over the crazy things he did when I was your age. I will teach you all the important things that he taught me. I will honor him through you.
For many days and months we've been praying for God to heal Pappaw for us so that he could stay here. But here's a lesson you will need to know for later in life. Your Pappaw Rick used to tell me all the time that God always answers prayer, but sometimes the answer is no - and sometimes the answer is, "No, but I have something better."
My precious miracle, I think that's the answer that God is giving us this time. We selfishly want Pappaw to be here with us. But, this life was never meant to be permanent. We are all on a journey that, if we are faithful, will end with our eternal healing and a huge reunion with those who have gone on before us. While we will be sad that Pappaw isn't here, there are so many waiting for him in heaven who can't wait to see him again. It feels like God is telling us no because we aren't getting to keep Pappaw, but what God is giving Pappaw is so much better. You have an amazing legacy, sweetheart, and I can't wait to tell you all about every person who is waiting for us on the other side.
I've been telling people that you must be an awesome kid because we've gotten a lot of bad news since we found out that God sent you to us and it was taking a lot of bad news to balance how wonderful you are. Over the last few days, I've realized that I had it all wrong. Baby girl, I think that God sent you to us when He did because he knew that this was coming and we needed something happy to get us through. One of these days, we will watch the movie Hook and you will understand what I'm about to tell you.
You, most wanted of babies, are my happy thought.
No matter how bad things have been, no matter how many tears I've shed, all I had to do to know that things are still right with the world is to rub my belly and think about you in there stretching and growing and getting ready to join us.
I love you, my precious angel. Thank you for being my sunshine.
Love,
Mom
